


Fill with milk my dark coffee.

by golden_queen_in_love



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan, 進撃の巨人 | Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan (Movies)
Genre: Coffee, Cute Eren Yeager, M/M, Minor Armin Arlert/Eren Yeager, POV Armin Arlert, farewell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-13 13:29:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28654278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/golden_queen_in_love/pseuds/golden_queen_in_love
Summary: “—You only need to say those words and I’m gonna stop all. I’m gonna stay with you.—If you stay, you’ll die.”Au. where Eren made an appointment with Armin.Or the last conversation they had before the disaster.
Relationships: Armin Arlert/Eren Yeager
Comments: 2
Kudos: 37





	Fill with milk my dark coffee.

> Because in this world, everyone has their own things to do, their own paths to go.
> 
> —Wei Wuxian.

* * *

Two days had gone since the last time they saw at Eren.

He just left a card in which he wrote all would be all right, and they will be compensated by their hard-working until that day. Obviously, none tolerated that and went to search for the guy. After searching for almost two days, the squad stopped and decided to return at the island as Eren wrote in the card.

That would be the third day, and they decided to leave the city in the night. But for Armin, he should do something before leaving.

He woke up earlier than all and took his disguise to explore near the principal streets, where they walked since they arrived at the city. For him, it was something particular, with innovative things. And something was happening in that city.

On the streets, there were so many stalls where people were selling or exchanging things and food. Some people were watching the diverse of food in the stalls in the early moment of the day.

The people in the city seemed very happy by the festivity while Armin couldn’t understand why they were celebrating. In the days they have been there, all the news that ran into his ears were about the war. And more stories about how the nation was winning all those territories.

It was impossible to imagine himself living in those luxury houses while the war was in the next corner. Even Armin questioned himself about how he lived inside the walls. He had ignorance through the new life outside the island.

A bell sounded in the moment where he pushed the door of the cafeteria, making his mind return at the moment. He had a strange dream last night. He imagined himself in that cafeteria, which he hasn’t been in all this time. But he saw the same scenario in his dream.

There were so many tables dispersed in the big salon. Luckily was not crowded as expected, and maybe the reason was the stalls on the streets. People were more interested in eating foreign and diverse cheap food than drinking a coffee as they commonly did.

Armin decided to take a seat in one of the farthest tables of the cafeteria. He searched for a place where he could be without interruptions. He also decided to avoid a window because he left the zone where his squad was, and they must be concerned by him.

No matter what, he left a little note at Mikasa, saying that he would go for something and swiftly return with them.

He was not sure about writing the real reason why he left them and went at that cafeteria.

After Eren left them, Mikasa was more concerned and hurried than the previous years. Armin never saw at her like that way. She barley could sleep or wanted to eat. Armin was with her in those days. He tried to cheer up, he said that they maybe could find him on the island. Those words were empty and silly. He did not believe in those words, but he should say to encourage at her.

He sighed out and took off of his hat to put it in the chair next to him. The table where he decided to sit had four chairs. Even if he was only one, he was waiting for someone else.

His glance raised and subtly checked the people in the cafeteria. In the principal tables of the building, there were some businessmen. Those were wearing suits and had newspapers on their hands. Some of them were discussing the only topic he had being hearing in those days. War.

—But our forces are the best. No matter if Asia tries, they would…

Armin didn’t care too much about what they were saying. People who hadn’t been in the war, they could never understand the feeling of being scared. Feeling of being in the middle of the trenches. Hold your life and trying to save someone’s life.

He had nightmares the first years he entered the military.

Those days haven’t been the exception. After Armin obtained the colossal titan, his nightmares have been increasing but this time is calmer than before. Some nights he dreamt about his childhood and his family. Some nights he dreamt about his friends being attacked by the titans.

His mind was inquiring all the paths possible just to make him return on the same day where he left his life on his best friend’s hands and decided to die. But he didn’t die.

—My son was part of the fifth artillery when they…

There was another voice. This time was an old woman. She was sat in front of the bar with who seemed his husband next to her. She talked with the bartender, smiling, and exalting at her son, who was in the military.

The old couple seemed very normal.

But each time the woman said something about his son, she looked so proud and happy than the bartender corresponded the smile.

Proud dads that didn’t understand the situation. Armin decided to not look more at them while a shame and disgust feeling grew inside his chest. He could understand when people inside the walls decided to become a soldier and fight against the titans. They had an objective to protect their families. But these people… were they fighting for protecting at their beloved ones or for power?

War was something despicable for him.

—Good morning, what would you like to eat?

A new voice sounded near to him, so he turned his glance at the old woman who seemed was working as the waitress. She looked older than fifty.

—Good morning. I would like to have a cup of coffee, please. —Armin was not sure about what should order. Even if he checked the menu before, he couldn’t identify something that makes his appetite appear. So, he went for the traditional.

—Good, just a cup of coffee, right? —The waitress said his order. And when he was almost to confirm it, another voiced came in the place.

—Coffee with two spoons of sugar and milk, please. You should order your tastes.

That voice was unique for him, so he didn’t seem surprised. But inside him, his heartbeat increased and subtly snaped his pink finger. He could recognize that voice in each part of the world.

—Two cups of the same coffee, please. —Eren replied. He took off his hat and letting in the fourth chair. Then he took sat in the chair in front of Armin.— Sorry for my delay.

They didn’t mention their names. Armin just nodded without effort.

—I wasn’t here for so long, it’s alright. —Armin responded. He looked at the woman who was waiting, so Armin nodded at her and thanked.

Then the woman left at both alone. Armin whispered and turned his glance at the opposite wall of the building. His glance ran away from those green eyes. He was sure that if he turns and sees at Eren, he will fail in his mission.

—Why did you let us alone? —He took the initiative, asking that hard question that had been driving him crazy.

—Because I have a plan. —Eren didn’t hesitate when answered. That made Armin frowned and turned his attention at him. Their glances connected as if it was the first time they met.

But in contrast with the past, both glances didn’t have more sparkles. There were two empty colours.

—What’s the plan? —Armin questioned.

—Nothing with you. —Eren replied, suiting the sleeves of his jacket. Armin didn’t know if he should be insulted by his harsh words. But before imagining more things, Eren continued.— I’m not here to talk you about strategics, plans or war. For matters like that, I should discuss with our commanders. But I invoked you here for a special reason.

—Special reason?

Armin’s heartbeat stopped for a while and then returned in a worse way. Suddenly he felt a weird feeling inside his chest and made his hands sweat. Some time ago, Eren said the same words, in a different situation.

—What is that special reason? —Armin inquired. His heart ran as his mind. But it stopped when he listened to the next words of the guy.

—I’m here to give my farewell. My farewell to you.

Armin couldn’t believe what he said, so he didn’t say anything for a moment.

Was it real that Eren called him by his dreams just to make him come at that cafeteria to say goodbye? What a mess. What a disgrace. What an idiot he was.

—You’re dying or something alike? —Armin asked, trying to ease the ambience.

Eren smirked at the blond and denied with his head.

—Not yet. It’s probably some years later. But… I’m here because I want your return to the island and live your lives. —Eren announced, putting both of his hands on the table. Their glances still kept connected.—You still have time. Go, and live your life.

—So, you ask me to abandon you here and return at my previous life when I was a pitiful person good for nothing? No, thanks. —He tried to defend, while inside his mind some words could try to keep Eren next to them.

—You... —Eren scolded his comment, frowning.— You were more than that…

—I was nothing before you were with me. —Armin impulsively interrupted his words, making his hands into fits above the table.— Because you were next to me, I decided to change my life and being someone useful. Because of you…

Both kept in silence for a while. Theirs glances still united, but their gestures seemed more painful than before.

—You have a plan. Who would be next to you? —Armin asked after some seconds of silence. His feelings were betraying his mind, making him say those things when obviously was not the time for that.

—I talked with someone. This person is helping me. —Eren replied.

As faster they started a new topic, the ambience around them changed at something softer to them.

—With him? —Armin tried to guess. He knew they couldn’t talk with names because the soldiers were in all the parts. They must be careful. But it was noticeable he was referring that him at Zeke.

—No, I talked with her. —Eren denied, smirking.

The blond felt his body stopped as his mind. Her? Did Eren have a relationship with someone outside of the walls? Maybe it was familiar or something more?

—Her? Those girls in the stalls had a reason. Your hair in that cut would attract too many glances. —Armin said. It was impossible to stop those words split from his lips. It was until he heard Eren laughing where he realized what he said.

—Wow, even at this moment you can be jealous. —Eren joked with him while Armin’s cheeks blushed.

The problem was not his words but his sarcastic tone, which he did not use, just when he was jealous. Armin couldn’t hold on more and cover his face with his hands.

—Sorry. Please, forget what I said. —Armin tried to apologize. No matter what, Eren slightly laughed, and that smile made Armin stopped his apologies to enjoy that moment. There were so many months since he saw it.

Before he could say something more, the waitress arrived at the moment and left the coffee in front of the gentlemen. Both thanked and waited until she went away to turn once more their attention at the other.

—You know that you don’t need to be jealous. —Eren started, and Armin denied with is head, taking the cup to drink. A smile still was on his face after drinking the coffee.

—Don’t talk more about it, please. —Armin tried to apologize, feeling shame by his behaviour. It was not so common for him to feel jealous, but just the fantasy of a girl talking in a flirty way with Eren. It made him in confusion.— It was without thinking.

—We made a promise, right? —Eren replied after Armin took a pause to drink of his coffee. Maybe changing the topic was better than try to talk about something about their relationship.

Armin didn’t answer, but Eren continued.

—You don’t need to be afraid of this. You’re the only one.

No matter if those words could be heavy for someone. For Armin, those were empty words and promises.

—That does not matter right now, there are more important things around us. —Armin declared. He looked for a while at his best friend before turning his attention at the bar.

Next to the old couple, there was a young couple. The woman seemed very interesting telling something at the guy next to her. In opposite, the boy read a newspaper. Sometimes he nodded with his head as if he were following the conversation of the girl.

Armin wasn’t sure if he would like to change positions with that couple to avoid an uncomfortable topic with Eren.

—That’s true. We don’t need a sad farewell. —Eren agreed after a long drink and then left the cup on the table.

Armin’s glance returned at the boy in front of him and left the cup on the same position.

—Are you convinced? —He asked, but when he noticed the confusion on Eren’s face, he tried again.— I mean. Will you leave us alone? Is there another way to stop you?

The blond boy tried to convince not only at Eren but also at himself about recovering the confidence of him and obtain data of his new plan. He wanted to be part of that new strategy.

—You know well there is something to stop me. —Eren replied, looking for a while at the cream of his cup. The mix he asked at the waitress was something not usual to drink for him, but he knew that Armin loved that drink when they were children.

For him, Eren could hold on things that the blond couldn’t imagine.

—Yes, you told me. —Armin answered, playing with his own fingers as a signal of nerves. His mind could not forget what he dreamt and still kept as the top in his mind.— Just need to say those words? Right?

Eren nodded with his head.— You only need to say those words and I’m gonna stop all. I’m gonna stay with you.

Around them, things were changing. Some businessmen went out of the cafeteria. The youngest couple had paid their drinks and were preparing to go out of the building. Armin desired the same. The opportunity to run away once more and maintain the ignorance they would be alright.

—If I say those words… will you stay next to me? —Armin enquired. He was sure nothing good could make by his desires. Before Eren could answer him, Armin talked once more.— And what would be the benefit of being with me? What would be the cost of keeping for me if your mind would be desiring something more?

He didn’t try to fight with his best friend in the last conversation that they could have. But his mind was asking for those answers. His heart was broken by those words he heard last night.

None said another word for a few minutes.

They just drank their coffees. Then Eren left the empty cup on the table.

—Say it. You just need to say those words. And I’ll be on your side in the next years. —Eren said. His voice filled by a mix of feelings like shame and sad. His face kept that empty glance and no smile as when he arrived at the restaurant.

What should he say?

Armin felt a pain inside his chest. A hot and cold mix covering his utter body as his lip suddenly trembled.

Eren would be with him for the next years. They probably could have a relax life after finishing with all the titans.

But who could believe that? None.

If they return together at the island, it was very probably the people could take Eren as their deity and ask him for protection. Not only the people but also the government. He would be used as a weapon against all the enemies of the island.

Armin too.

He would be used as a weapon.

Lives would be taken by their disgraceful powers.

And they couldn’t live together. They couldn’t live in calm.

They were cursed to follow the last paths as their predecessors of the titan’s powers.

—We know why we are here… we aren’t people anymore. —Armin told, holding the cup with both of his hands.— They don’t see us as people. They see us as weapons.

Those green eyes connected once more with the blue eyes. Even if they weren’t feeling anything, the reality of being used to destruct and kill innocent people was the only thing to make them broken.

—You’re not a… —Eren tried to find something. Months ago, Armin had had nightmares for using his power. Each time he tried the destruction was written around him. He didn’t want to feel more about that.

—Stop right there. Let me finish, please. —Armin mumbled. On his face, a smirk appeared.— Each day that ends, our lifespan is decreasing. We could return and live together and maybe happy by some time… Then life would be harsh with us. You will die… If you stay, you’ll die.

Talking about death was something that he didn’t expect. But it was the only way to make the things cleared.

Armin’s face had a mix of feelings. His empty eyes, now they were filled with tears. His lips were raised with one ironic smile.

—No matter what, we will die.— Armin whispered, cleaning with one of his hands the tears on his eyes. He didn't want to cry.— So, go on. You have things to do. And I’m not gonna stop you. Go ahead.

Eren was surprised. He never thought he could hear those words from Armin. He was sure the blond would retain him and convince of staying with the team.

—Armin… —The brunette started but couldn’t find any word to say. It was impossible. He imagined another scenario.

—But I get you one condition. —Armin replied, avoiding the brunette to continue. This time the youngest was calmer and left the empty cup on the table, in front of Eren’s cup.— You need to come back… No matter how you should come back with me. Right?

Eren nodded with his head, giving a little smile at the blond. Suddenly he felt more confident with his plan.

That smile made Armin smile and take a deep breath. They didn’t want to mess up the things.

—I’m gonna return with you. I’ll promise. —Eren announced, looking happier than before. Armin felt as if he did the best for him.

—Then I’m leaving. Mr Levi should be concerned. —Armin said, taking the hat on the chair.— You should pay for these because you were late.

—I’ll do. —Eren replied, looking at the blond getting up and suit his jacket before putting his hat.— Please, take care.

—You too. —Armin said, giving a last smile at the brunette before walking at the exit door of the cafeteria. Before leaving he thanked once more at the old woman and then went out of the building.

He could act as nothing had happened.

Outside could look as if he were having a normal day. As if they didn’t take an important topic.

But inside, he was dying.

—Come to try this delicious seafood…

—Crafts from each part of…

The voices of the sellers were far away from him.

Even his body felt a strange pressure.

Armin tried to go out of the crowds that were on the streets, looking for food of crafts. He didn’t want to be there for more time.

—What about oriental drink….

His eyes filled once more with tears. Suddenly he felt the necessity to rest for a long time, just lay down and think about all.

But even if he could think more about that, he would choose the same once more.

“Eren...” He thought, raising his glance at the sky. The weather was incredible. It was a great day for the rest of the people.

_“I love you.”_

There were no more options in this life.

Just keep fighting... and maybe one day, they would be happy.


End file.
